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Making Use of Metaphors
Once you start to recognize the metaphors you and others use, you will
notice them everywhere. In fact it is 'hard' to 'put together' an 'everyday'
sentence which does not 'contain' a 'hidden' metaphor. The pervasiveness of
metaphor in language is, however, only half the story. We also think,
reason, make decisions and base our actions on those very same metaphors. In
this way our metaphors determine how we live our lives, and what kind of
lives we live.
If you take metaphors as literal descriptions of unconscious processing they
become a gateway to increased awareness, understanding and change.
Take 'anger' as an example. What kind of anger do you experience? Do you:
Reach boiling point and then blow your top
Have a ferocious temper and try to fight back your rage
Unburden your anger by getting it off your chest
or something else entirely?
In the first example anger is symbolized as a hot fluid. So your natural
response might be to 'cool things down' or 'let off steam'. In the second
example, anger is represented as an opponent or wild animal, so you may want
to 'defeat it' or 'keep it under control'. In the third example, anger is
regarded as a burden to be removed; therefore you might want to stop 'it
building up' or 'holding on to it for so long'. Inevitably the actions we
take will be consistent with the metaphors we use.
Not only do we use metaphor to make sense of our own emotions, we also try
to fit other people's emotions and behaviors into our own metaphorical way
of seeing the world. What we feel they should do and the advice we give them
will derive in large part from our own metaphors. As you might guess, when
two people have widely contrasting metaphors it is often a recipe for
miscommunication. For example, when one person likes to 'smoulder' before
'raking over the coals', and another has a 'short fuse' and wants to 'get it
over with', they will almost certainly disagree on how to express their
emotions and probably end up in conflict.
Metaphors create insight, but they also create ways of not seeing. Metaphors
can liberate, and they also can limit. They can empower or they can
disempower. They can be a tool for creativity, or a self-imposed prison. The
exercise below offers you the opportunity to unlock your creativity and open
those prison doors.
Exercise
The purpose of this exercise is to enable you to have more choice in how you
respond to situations where, in the past, you feel you have acted
inappropriately. There could be a whole range of emotionally-based actions
that would fit here, but we are going to continue to use 'anger' as an
example.
The purpose of the exercise is for you to:
(1) identify a metaphor for when you are angry and act inappropriately as a
result;
(2) identify a second metaphor for how you would prefer to respond;
(3) explore how you can convert or evolve the first metaphor into the
second;
(4) translate your insights into how you can change your behavior in your
everyday life;
(5) rehearse this new behavior.
You will need blank paper and colored pens. You might like to read through
the exercise and the following example so that you have an understanding of
what you will be doing before you start. When you answer the questions in
the exercise, give yourself time for images and feelings to emerge into
consciousness before writing or drawing.
1. Identify a metaphor for when you are angry and act inappropriately as a
result:
a. Ask yourself, "When I am angry and act inappropriately, that's like
what?"
b. Draw the metaphor that comes to mind.
c. Look at your drawing and ask yourself the following questions so you get
to know more about the symbols in the metaphor. For each part of the
drawing, ask:
"What kind of ......?"
"Is there anything else about ......?"
Add new information to the drawing, and when you've got all that you can get
for now, go on to the second metaphor.
The purpose of these
Clean Language
questions is to focus your attention on each part of the metaphor so that
you consider its qualities and characteristics. They are specially designed
to work with personal symbols. There will be aspects to your metaphor that
you did not consciously decide. By putting your attention on each part of
your metaphor you are likely to discover something new about yourself or the
situation. These unexpected elements are often the places where a new kind
of change can emerge.
2. Identify a second metaphor for how you would prefer to respond:
a. Ask yourself, "How I would prefer to respond is like what?"
b. Draw the metaphor that comes to mind.
c. For each part of the drawing, ask yourself the following questions so you
get to know more about the symbols in this metaphor:
"What kind of ...... ?"
"Is there anything else about .......?
Add new information to the drawing, and when you've got all that you can get
for now, go to Step 3.
3. Explore how you can convert or evolve the first metaphor into the second:
a. Place your drawings in front of you.
b. Consider how Metaphor 1 can evolve into Metaphor 2.
c. Notice:
"What's the FIRST thing that needs to happen for Metaphor 1 to start
becoming Metaphor 2?"
"What's the LAST thing that needs to happen before Metaphor 1 becomes
Metaphor 2?"
Take your time when completing Step 3. You don't have to accept the first
idea that comes to mind -- the purpose is for you to consider something new.
You might like to imagine yourself as the symbols (as if inside the
drawings) and wonder what is required for Metaphor 1 to change into Metaphor
2. Remember it may take a number of intermediate stages for this to happen.
Don't reject an idea just because it seems bizarre (the land of metaphor is
often closer to a dream world than to everyday reality). You'll know when
you've found the solution that's right for you, and it usually contains an
element of a surprise.
4.
Having identified a way for Metaphor 1 to become Metaphor 2, how does this
translate into what you need to do in your everyday life? How will this
information guide your behavior next time you are in a similar situation?
5.
To start getting used to this new way of responding, rehearse being Metaphor
2 by embodying its characteristics NOW:
What is your posture?
What do you feel inside?
Where is your focus of attention?
What do you say and how are you saying it?
Example
The following is a short summary of the results of one person going though
the exercise. Your answers will likely be very different to these.
1.
When I am angry and acting inappropriately, that's like what?
"Like a gladiator on the back foot."
What kind of 'gladiator'?
"He's a Roman gladiator with a trident."
What kind of 'trident'?
"Rigid, belittled and ready to strike."
Is there anything else about 'on the back foot'?
"His back foot is under pressure and out of balance."
And so on.
2.
How I would prefer to respond is like what?
"To be standing tall like a tree able to bend in the wind.
- The tree is flexible, with deep roots, proud and grounded.
- The wind is gusting, but eventually calms down."
3.
How can Metaphor 1 become Metaphor 2?
"The gladiator stands upright, balanced on both feet, plants his trident
into the ground and this grows roots deep into the earth.
- First, he takes a deep breath.
- Last, he feels himself proudly beginning to bend with the wind."
4.
How will this information guide your behavior next time you are in a similar
situation?
"I'll realize the person's attacking words can fly past me rather than going
into my core. I know if I stand tall and feel balanced and grounded then I
can't be hurt by their words. If I still feel angry at what they've said, I
can ask them what they're trying to achieve by saying these things, but I
don't have to strike back."
In Conclusion
Our personal metaphors and symbols help us make sense of the world. They
give form to those aspects of our lives which are the most mystifying -- our
problems and their solutions, our fears and desires, our illness and health,
our poverty and wealth, and our capacity to love and to be loved. When these
experiences are given form, and are seen with symbolic sight, they then
become amenable to exploration and transformation.
References
Jung, Carl, Man and his Symbols, Picador, London 1964.
Lakoff, George & Johnson, Mark, Metaphors we Live By, University of
Chicago Press, 1980.
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